Without The Dark, We Do Not See the Light
By: Lorelle VanFossen
Tags: anger, balance, blogging, compassion, fears, good and evil, light and dark, negative reactions, reactions, social media, star trek
Kes: To be honest, I never want to see that part of myself again.
Lieutenant Tuvok: To which part are you referring?
Kes: To the part of me that got pleasure from destroying those plants in the airponics bay. To the part of me that was tempted to go with Tanis. I never realized I had such dark impulses.
Lieutenant Tuvok: Without the darkness, how would we recognize the light? Do not fear your negative thoughts. They are part of you. They are a part of every living being – even Vulcans.
Kes: You?
Lieutenant Tuvok: The Vulcan heart was forged out of barbarism and violence. We learned to control it, but it is still part of us. To pretend it does not exist is to create an opportunity for it to escape.
“Cold Fire,” Star Trek Voyager
I work with many clients recovering from terrible encounters and experiences on the web through their sites, site comments, social media, and site and business review services. Bullying, bad reviews, nasty comments, trolls, they are a part of the web today.
When people take the business of the web personally, it not only hurts, it shuts them down. One client took years to get back online after a single bad review on Yelp. Another couldn’t update their site for two years after receiving a mean comment. Another took comment spam personally, believing they were after him.
Without the darkness, how would we recognize the light. Light and darkness, good and evil, these extremes are a part of the human condition. We all have good days and bad days, and without the bad days, how would you know you were in a good day? Without evil, how would you feel blessed and strengthened by the good in your life?
“To pretend it does not exist is to create an opportunity for it to escape.” This is the key. When you deny, resist, shove down feelings, you are actually putting a cork in a bottle under extreme pressure. Cracks form and the ingredients ooze out. Or it will pop, often with disastrous results, leaving a huge mess.
By accepting equally the dark and the light in our world, we honor and respect both. We allow a balance to form between the two, neither under pressure.
I was reminded of this yesterday when I asked a friend how she was doing. “I’m going to have a good day today, damn it!” Her insistence on the good in the day was clearly a release of the pressure within. Until released and the balance is established, it is doubtful her insistence will moderate the quality of the day.
When you blog, are you blogging under pressure? Does that pressure influence what you say and share?
Take a breath and seek to find the balance again. Begin by acknowledging that the darkness must exist as much as the light. Respect it. Respect the process.
The Buddhist monk, Thích Nhất Hạnh, teaches that anger is the energy required to take action, a transformative power, useful:
Just because anger or hate is present does not mean that the capacity to love and accept is not there; love is always with you…
When you are angry, and you suffer, please go back and inspect very deeply the content, the nature of your perceptions. If you are capable of removing the wrong perception, peace and happiness will be restored in you, and you will be able to love the other person again.
He often compares anger to the mud from which grows the lotus flower. Without the mud, the fertilizer as I call it, beauty does not grow. Thus, anger is useful.
While most people blame outside forces for making them angry, anger comes from within, an energy force. We can use it to hurt or help ourselves. For the people who blame social media or the response to their blog and social media efforts for their feelings, they are losing an opportunity to use the feelings as energy to transform not just themselves but the world with their positive actions.
Use your anger to bring love to the world, to bring balance between the light and the dark.
Blog Your Passion 
Interesting topic and way to give context to online comments. I always feel like really horrible comments are put up out of anger, too. Thanks, Lorelle.